The Op-ed That Never Was

Taylor Kerby attended Claremont Graduate University but right now is more proud of how he just won a bed-time negotiation with his 4-year-old. 


In June, I submitted the following as an Op-ed to the Deseret News. It was not published. This was originally written in response to a Deseret News Op-ed replying to an episode of Ellen that discusses Utah’s higher than average LGBTQ teen suicide rates.

In preparing for Thanksgiving my thoughts have returned to the Op-ed that never was. Times that are meant to be joyous for families are often devastating for those experiencing division and heartbreak.

This Thanksgiving my thoughts are with the LGBTQ members of The Church. My prayer is that families of all these will have a welcome and open heart as well as a place set at the family tablet for all their children.

Below is my (rejected) submission edited only slightly. I sincerely hope my voice will be heard and our hearts, arms, and tables will be open for all God’s Children.

“Recently an Op-Ed was published in the Deseret News concerning Ellen’s referencing of LGBT teen suicide rates in Utah. The Op-ed argued primarily that while teen suicide is always tragic, it is fallacious to reduce the cause of the high suicide rate to “just one thing”- meaning, primarily, the influence of the LDS Church.

Let me say at the forefront, I am not a social scientist. I freely admit to a lacking command of the nuance surrounding teen suicide data. Therefore, while there should be a response to the Od-Ed based on academic analysis, and there has still yet to be one, that is not what I will be doing. Here I argue simply as a believer and a member of The Church concerned for the welfare of my brothers and sisters who too often feel as though they are not legitimate members of the Body of Christ.

I am particularly concerned as a member of, what I believe to be the True and Living Church of Jesus Christ, that the Op-ed will be read by my fellow members not as an analysis of data but rather as an absolution of responsibility.

Let me be clear, I am not suggesting this was the intention of the authors. I do not for a moment believe it was. I do believe that the natural man- alive in even the best Saints- is quite inclined to do and believe that which is easy and self-benefiting. Therefore, it would be tempting to assume that because the LDS Church may not be the sole cause of inflated LGBT teen suicide rates (a proposition that, as I stated previously, warrants a stern critique from someone more acquainted with the field) we as members of the Church, therefore, have nothing to do with it.

It would be easy to read the Op-ed and assume, wrongly, that there are not members of the church-even within one’s own ward or stake- who feel as though their sexual orientation has made them indelibly unclean. It would be easy to assume that there are not LGBT youth convinced there is no permanent residence for them in Zion. It would be easy to assume that there are not youth, in one’s own sphere of ministry, who feel constantly unworthy of the Good Shepard’s redemptive embrace.

Recently our Prophet has called upon Zion to act as Ministers one to another. If we are to act like Ministers, we must also think like Ministers. A social scientist discusses and analyzes trends. A Minister may appreciate (and even utilize) this scholarship, however when one member experiences the dark pull of suicidal thoughts a Minister rushes to their aid, regardless of its statistical occurrence. A Minister “mourns with those that mourn.” A Minister “comforts those that stand in need of comfort.” A Minister appreciates the truth that when one part of the Body of Christ is hurting all parts are hurting. A Minister follows in the admonition of Christ’s Apostles who asked: “Lord, is it I?” A Minister understands that even if the flock of the Good Shepard is no more statistically inclined to wander than others, His concern is not for the ninety and nine that stay in safety, but rather for the one who is displaced.

Years ago, as a Deacon, I remember sitting in a Law of Chastity lesson. After hitting most of the main points (I don’t quite recall how he got here), the leader told us that if anyone in the room was gay to go straight to the Bishop because, he said throwing his hands in the air, he didn’t want to know. The room laughed. As twelve-year boys, we all thought that was very funny. We also knew that laughing at this joke proved something. I don’t know if anyone in that room was in fact gay. But I do know that even as twelve-year old’s we all understood his joke’s (probably/hopefully unintended) message -if you are gay, you don’t quite belong here.  

          I want to believe that there are not Deacons quorums in the church today where comments like that are made, especially by adults who should know better. The fact is, I’m not sure.

While initially skeptical, I am grateful for the new (now not quite as new) Ministry Program. While it may just be old wine in new bottles, I’m convinced it can be something more. My hope is that it awakens in the church a commitment to belonging and connection as key Mormon values. My prayer is that as members we may begin to look inward to think of how we may, within our own sphere of influence, foster belonging and connection throughout the whole Body of Christ, particularly among those who have been told-intentionally or not- that they don’t quite belong here. I pray that we become Ministers who think pastorally in our interactions with others in (and out) of the fold and, in our collective repentance for wrongs done before, look forward with the fervent conviction that if we are not one, we are not His.”

Please, please, please take this to heart this holiday season. 

And for the record, to any LGBTQ members in the Phoenix area- if there isn't a place set for you at your family's table this Thanksgiving, send me a message. You have one set at mine. We have way too much pie.