Post by Randy Powell, a Ph.D. candidate in History at Washington State University, a proud opponent of the death penalty, and a lifelong member of the church.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints prides itself on being a practical religion. It is heralded as a belief system that produces tangible and measurable results among its membership. I believe this to be true. Numerous members of the Church have ascribed their peace, serenity, happiness, and material success to church teachings. Others have struggled to find happiness or security even as they practice daily scripture study, pray often, and attend Sunday services. Even as they do these things, many faithful members find themselves continually irritated at their church callings, struggling to abide by the Word of Wisdom, or in the throes of depression. Because they struggle with the some or all of these issues, they assume that they are not true disciples of Jesus Christ. However, the opposite is true. Wrestling with some facet of Christ’s Gospel or with personal issues is not the antithesis to discipleship, but its expression. Jesus said “take up [your] cross, and follow me” after all.[1] He did not require his disciples to leave their issues or problems behind but bring them along with them even as they, quite imperfectly, followed in his footsteps. The same is true today. We become disciples through bearing our crosses, whatever the struggle might be.
Now remember, I am not writing to belittle those that find peace and happiness from the Church. Indeed, I strongly believe that if I did not belong to the Church and enjoy its blessings on a daily basis, my financial and anxiety issues would have led me to take drastic actions. Instead, I am writing to those who feel that no matter how hard they try, their desires to pay tithing, serve faithfully in a calling, understand difficult moments in history, accept controversial church policy, or follow church counsel remain elusive. You are not alone, nor are you any less of a disciple of Christ or part of the Body of Christ.
Now, for some history. From its earliest days, the Church has prided itself on it real-world applicability. Church leaders have long operated under the assumption that without real-world benefits, religion remains theoretical and dead. N. Eldon Tanner in a First Presidency Message in 1978 said this, “I challenge anyone to find anything in the gospel of Jesus Christ that is not intended to make us happy and successful, loved and respected, kind and considerate of our neighbors, community-minded, and useful citizens. When we fall short of these attributes, it is not the gospel that is at fault, but the people who are not living as they should.”[2] Here is a clear expression of the measurable results that come by being faithful. Once again, I am convinced that numerous members have found this to be true. I am also sure that many of others have wept as they wondered why they are not more perfect, happy and successful, loved and respected, even after they have tried their hardest. Others may wonder why relief to addictions or depressions have not arrived even as they strive to live the Gospel. Many wonder why they continue to have doubts about Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, or the existence of God.
I do not wish to contradict a member of the First Presidency and I hope nobody takes it as such. I want to suggest that the mark of a person following Jesus Christ is not success, being loved, respected, or even happy. The true sign is in the struggle. For example, a few weeks ago in Elders Quorum we were having a discussion (I came in a little late after having talked with my friends in the library for a little too long…oops) and one good brother expressed his frustration that he often perceived church callings and responsibilities as a distraction, something that got in the way of his career and family. He truly struggled to sincerely want to help people move or minister to those around him. He wondered if that was a mark against him, putting him outside the bounds of true discipleship. I believe, however, that by expressing his frustrations he revealed that he was indeed a true disciple of Christ and a good Mormon.
I love a Bible verse in Revelation (yeah that confusing scary book) that helps me see that being a true disciple is not measured in the results, but our continued effort to throw our (imperfect) hearts into an (imperfect) effort to follow Jesus. The King James Version translates Revelation 14:22 as “Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.” Most others versions render the first section as “Blessed are those who wash their robes,” which as explained in an earlier chapter is done in the blood of Christ.[3] Notice the lack of past tense here. This washing is not an accomplished fact, but one currently in process. If modern laundry practices can be applied here (why not?) then this very act of continued washing, let’s say struggling daily, is a constant in our lives and is what allows grace and the atonement to fully act in our lives. The sign here is not the measurable results of said washing, but that we are willing to pick our dirty laundry and throw it into the wash once again. This may seem like an endless process akin to the film Groundhog’s day, but as Adam Miller keenly reminds us, that we have the opportunity to do this is what makes life beautiful and worthwhile.[4]
So my friends, keep washing even if you find the results lacking. Depression may remain, insecurities may linger, addictions might not disappear, and your testimony may not flourish. That is okay. You have not failed as a disciple of Christ or member of the Church. By questioning, struggling, and trying, you are just as much a disciple as Peter, James, and John. Struggling, questioning, are doubting are integral parts of the framework of discipleship.
[1] Luke 9:23.
[2] N. Eldon Tanner, “A Practical Religion,” October, 1978, https://www.lds.org/ensign/ 1978/10/a-practical-religion?lang=eng.
[3] Revelation 14:22. See: https://biblehub.com/revelation/22-14.htm.
[4] Adam S. Miller, Rube Goldberg Machines: Essays in Mormon Theology (Draper: Greg Kofford Books, 2012), 122-124.
Do you think there's a point where it's not worth the struggle anymore? I'm speaking specifically of doubts. I mean, if your doubt leads you to disbelieve fundamental claims, you don't get to have a temple recommend or hold callings. What does the struggle look like for those members?
ReplyDeleteJohn 6:68 has helped me answer some of those very questions in my personal life, and I believe Powell emphasizes it perfectly when he states that the gospel leads us to happiness. Ultimately, this is a personal decision to make for yourself. However, I have found myself asking where else I can go to find a peace like this, to find religion that emphasizes the unity and power of the family, and the power of the priesthood and holy ghost. I may be speaking for a small group of members, but just as Peter, another disciple of Christ concluded, here lie the 'words of eternal life'.
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